It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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