I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
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the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
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hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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