You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
