one two three fourrrrnication!
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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