I'm really into asian looking animals
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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