every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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