If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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