I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize