May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
