found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
