you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
