There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
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