i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
