Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
