my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
