'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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