am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
