I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
