It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
