Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
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Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
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HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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