Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I skipped work to stalk him.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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