Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
