dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
