Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
