We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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