i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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