Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
