will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
