The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Dicks are not precious.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
