If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
