Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
