When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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