is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
