Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
