One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
