He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
