I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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