Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
