i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
