im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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