I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
