last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
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I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
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No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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