you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
