5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize