we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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