Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
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