Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Randomize