Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
