I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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