I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
