Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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