there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
