I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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