I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
