Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Panties = found
Randomize
