how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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