I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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