Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Being persistent has its perks my friend.

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  (609): I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking. (215): Being persistent has its perks my friend. http://tfl.nu/wzcm
  Replies (11) Good night (3667) Bad night (508)
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  (650): View more from California

  im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt

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  (650): im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt http://tfl.nu/myrk
  Replies (35) Good night (603) Bad night (4428)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.

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  (440): woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl. http://tfl.nu/ta0b
  Replies (81) Good night (1082) Bad night (4778)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think

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  (304): Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think http://tfl.nu/bm7u
  Replies (16) Good night (648) Bad night (4185)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.

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  (724): i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here. http://tfl.nu/fq3k
  Replies (5) Good night (1176) Bad night (3504)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?

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  (206): So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for? http://tfl.nu/tolv
  Replies (10) Good night (2119) Bad night (1170)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.

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  (717): Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts. http://tfl.nu/zklc
  Replies (6) Good night (1323) Bad night (711)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.

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  (314): Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me. http://tfl.nu/z9vp
  Replies (6) Good night (3095) Bad night (1279)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested

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  (352): Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested http://tfl.nu/s1lm
  Replies (15) Good night (876) Bad night (2013)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.

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  (432): she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback. http://tfl.nu/m8zb
  Replies (18) Good night (3794) Bad night (719)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.

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  (541): I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways. http://tfl.nu/pmkq
  Replies (3) Good night (745) Bad night (280)
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  (607): View more from New York

  eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.

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  (607): eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest. http://tfl.nu/otqw
  Replies (1) Good night (391) Bad night (656)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.

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  (505): Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle. http://tfl.nu/hoqs
  Replies (3) Good night (385) Bad night (683)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone

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  (860): grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone http://tfl.nu/vpvv
  Replies (2) Good night (1046) Bad night (225)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it

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  (908): do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it http://tfl.nu/ga2l
  Replies (2) Good night (497) Bad night (141)

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