Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.

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(973): she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle. http://tfl.nu/83v8

Replies (5) Good night (2583) Bad night (617)
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(858): View more from California

I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.

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(858): I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it. http://tfl.nu/e9ge

Replies (26) Good night (2155) Bad night (3003)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.

(651): View more from Minnesota

That baby is bound to be under-loved.

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(262): The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy. (651): That baby is bound to be under-loved. http://tfl.nu/j5h4

Replies (10) Good night (1239) Bad night (4079)
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(515): View more from Iowa

so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement

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(515): so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement http://tfl.nu/2t2h

Replies (6) Good night (690) Bad night (3591)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.

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(919): i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment. http://tfl.nu/f76z

Replies (48) Good night (684) Bad night (5148)
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(661): View more from California

Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.

(1-661): View more from California

What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"

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(661): Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up. (1-661): What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how" http://tfl.nu/sghh

Replies (50) Good night (31038) Bad night (1532)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.

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(612): I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick. http://tfl.nu/mxvd

Replies (10) Good night (1073) Bad night (3061)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk

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(612): I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk http://tfl.nu/r6qp

Replies (8) Good night (4787) Bad night (1348)
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(310): View more from California

Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.

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(310): Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly. http://tfl.nu/9x6b

Replies (12) Good night (4830) Bad night (932)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.

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(403): so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them. http://tfl.nu/j4fw

Replies (7) Good night (7860) Bad night (1049)
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(406): View more from Montana

We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.

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(406): We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class. http://tfl.nu/2kxo

Replies (11) Good night (4645) Bad night (1279)
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(713): View more from Texas

I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.

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(713): I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups. http://tfl.nu/3y6t

Replies (16) Good night (3938) Bad night (1230)
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(925): View more from California

She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.

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(925): She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about. http://tfl.nu/434y

Replies (3) Good night (2897) Bad night (1139)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.

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(401): It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss. http://tfl.nu/0y0a

Replies (1) Good night (1291) Bad night (1283)
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(952): View more from Minnesota

I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.

(952): View more from Minnesota

Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.

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(952): I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face. (952): Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him. http://tfl.nu/f0ba

Replies (3) Good night (654) Bad night (332)

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