Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
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Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
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Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.