Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.

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(925): it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee. http://tfl.nu/9pjs

Replies (6) Good night (478) Bad night (874)
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(757): View more from Virginia

Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.

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(757): Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef. http://tfl.nu/i5oo

Replies (2) Good night (533) Bad night (969)
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(520): View more from Arizona

i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.

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(520): i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how. http://tfl.nu/qfuo

Replies (6) Good night (2520) Bad night (758)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish

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(920): in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish http://tfl.nu/24oc

Replies (27) Good night (5356) Bad night (774)
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(540): View more from Virginia

She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.

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(540): She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her. http://tfl.nu/1bms

Replies (13) Good night (4744) Bad night (1341)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began

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(570): 12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began http://tfl.nu/mu8u

Replies (21) Good night (5215) Bad night (997)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.

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(651): Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker. http://tfl.nu/umuy

Replies (13) Good night (1285) Bad night (417)
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(773): View more from Illinois

I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself

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(773): I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself http://tfl.nu/rzza

Replies (1) Good night (806) Bad night (330)
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(734): View more from Michigan

Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.

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(734): Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go. http://tfl.nu/sxv0

Replies (7) Good night (990) Bad night (402)
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(817): View more from Texas

You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.

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(817): You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres. http://tfl.nu/or4y

Replies (3) Good night (1685) Bad night (299)
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(330): View more from Ohio

There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.

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(330): There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists. http://tfl.nu/kdms

Replies (4) Good night (267) Bad night (732)
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(831): View more from California

I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"

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(831): I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy" http://tfl.nu/ej7w

Replies (2) Good night (487) Bad night (227)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.

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(860): So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah. http://tfl.nu/6xvo

Replies (0) Good night (574) Bad night (198)
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(419): View more from Ohio

She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.

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(419): She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird. http://tfl.nu/4ytr

Replies (1) Good night (622) Bad night (186)
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(226): View more from Ontario

You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF

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(226): You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF http://tfl.nu/pq8j

Replies (0) Good night (427) Bad night (250)

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