I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
