He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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