We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
