we have officially mastered the walk of shame
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
