Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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