there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
