Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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