Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
