I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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