two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
