I just saw a hot homeless man
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
